We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
my poor anus
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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