God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
