I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
MIDGETS
????
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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