i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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