just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
