you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
this will be a night to untag.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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