I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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