Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
