two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
