You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
All I want is dick and wine.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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