U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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