i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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