You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
