the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
