doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
