She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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