woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can't turn off my feet"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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