Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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