i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
