The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
