OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize