He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
When are your genitals available?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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