So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
