I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
