airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
