So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
