The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
