I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize