Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
