Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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