and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I love you. Go after that dick
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
