There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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