did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize