I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Alive.
So much puke
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
