so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize