you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
