Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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