lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
