Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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