no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
