i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
