so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize