I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
