Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Me too!
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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