Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
