Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
