I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize