I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
