I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
