shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
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