Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
