we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
