Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
