And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
two words...techno handjob
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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