i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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