wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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