I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
