A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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