No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
