he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
